2:09PM, Jul 31, 2009
Unless you've been living under a rock, it's unlikely you could have missed the entrance of Noirin's ex Isaac into the house.
Needless to say it's not been an altogether happy occassion.
We doubt Isaac's all-conquering wave of alpha-maleness would allow anything to get in the way of letting all and sundry know that ISAAC STOUT HAS ARRIVED.
Just look at that surname. He couldn't be more masculine if he renamed himself Crotch McGuinessRugby.
Yep, reality show veteran and Noirin's ex partner in lust Isaac has descended upon the house with an almighty reign of perfectly planned, emotion-baiting precision, and while it's undoubtedly sparked misery, kicked-puppy eyes and enough emo-whining from Siavash and Marcus to put Dawson's Creek to shame, we can't deny it's entertaining.
Within 3 days of him entering we've had Noirin admit that she is still in love with the American during a Diary Room confessional, Siavash telling Noirin that she should leave the house if she has any dignity left in the hollow, ego-crushing, emotional husk of a shell she calls a personality.
Best of all, we've had Isaac displaying all the tact and grace of a Jordan interview by commenting that "Big Brother is s**t" and that there must be a 'rectum tree' planted outside the house, as a number of ar**holes keep falling off it and ending up in the there.
Who needs a Bible when you have 'How to lose friends and alienate people', eh Isaac?
Escaping Is Contagious
A mixture of housewide apathy, Isaac's entrance and Tom and Kenneth's recent departures has created an air of discomfort about the place.
So with emotions running high, it came as little surprise to hear both Sophie and Siavash discuss their desire to leave the house.
Sophie told Siavash and Freddie that she had felt terrible every day last week and was seriously contemplating walking.
Siavash, understandably, told Freddie that if he walked he would not have to suffer the indignity, heartbreak and humiliation of seeing Isaac and Noirin smooch it up. Just watching them on screen is turning our stomaches, so heaven help us if we were stuck in there and felt attracted to one of the doey-eyed fame-addicts.
We feel for you Siavash, mate.
Sree Slashes Wrists
It really hasn't been a happy week in Big Brother world has it?
It was revealed that former housemate Sree Desari was rushed to hospital after slashing his wrists.
Allegedly (and we stress that in as bold italics as possible) he cut his wrists while weeping over an episode of Big Brother. He was never the most emotionally stable of chaps in the first place, but we can see how watching his 'obsession de jour' Noirin canoodle with everything with a pulse might have tipped him over the edge.
Luckily, the damage wasn't serious and he was back appearing on Big Brother's Big Mouth later that evening. Channel 4 stated that they had arranged for Sree to be cared for by a psychologist in the following days and continues to be given support by the production team.
And on a lighter note...
Phew. That was heavy.
Thank goodness then for Enchanted extras and real life Barbie and 7-year old take on boy toy Ken, Sophie and Rodrigo.
The perenially innocent, bizarelly charming simpletons (well, Sophie at least) shared a bath together the other morning and produced one of the comedic highlights of the season thus far (yes, this really is saying something).
Sophie began merrily trumping away in the bath, energising a one-woman eco-jacuzzi that had her smiling but Rodrigo fuming.
"Ooh, Sophie, stop," Rodrigo whined. "Stop farting, it's disgusting."
Sophie then protested her innocence and blamed it on her Gillian McKeith-a-like lentil diet, before Siavash enthusiastically piped up that Rodrigo had been parping all night long in his sleep.
Cue a very confused, angry looking latino boy sat in a bath of fart bubbles.
Not exactly high brow, but after a week of emotional craziness, this was probably the happy highlight.
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