3:49PM, Dec 01, 2008
Well, what a weekend it was on I'm A Celebrity.
Timmy Mallet, Esther Rantzen and Carly Zucker bid the jungle farewell, there's a bitch-fest over bus-gate and Joe gets in a tizz over Brian's lack of backbone.
Timmy Bites off More Than he Can Chew
Timmy Mallet and Brian Paddick received the least votes from the public and had to battle it out in the challenge Last Chance Saloon. The loser would be sent packing and the winner would get immunity from the vote.
The pair tucked into a veritable feast of animal appendages. These protein-packed snacks were washed down with a variety of beetle juice cocktails, including the delightfully-named Penis Colado which involved downing the minced, ahem, bits of a camel and crocodile. Brian joked: "If I don’t win this I’ll never live it down."
Timmy, a vegetarian, admitted: "This is the trial I didn't want." He struggled to chow down five live worms and grabbed Brian's arm thinking it was the table, and managed to leave a few marks as a result.
Brian triumphed as the winner, which meant Timmy had to immediately leave the camp. The ex-police chief was chuffed but it was a bittersweet victory because he was upset that Timmy grabbed him.
When he returned to the camp he told the others: "Timmy was very unfair, see these marks here in my arm, it's out of order. The worm was wriggling about in the glass and Timmy was dragging it out when he suddenly grabbed my arm – that was a deliberate attempt to stop me chewing and to stop me swallowing."
Now most people would find being grabbed by Timmy Mallet alarming, but this is Brian blowing the whole episode out of proportion. Stop being such a wuss.
Joe Blows
We're not the only ones to think Brian is a bit lame. Joe gave Brian a real piece of his mind accusing him of having no backbone when he refused to stand up to David Van Day and ask him to give his bus bed up to Simon, who had spent the night being sick.
He explained: "We need to get Simon into a bed to get a good night’s sleep, it’s not about getting David into a hammock."
He blasted the ex-copper: "Why are you so worried about upsetting us, why are you worried about upsetting them? Because you have high morals you are worried about people you aren’t going to see again."
It was definitely a sticking point and he didn't hold back when he went to the Bush Telegraph: "Brian hasn’t the bottle to stand up and say anything. He’s scared of them, scared of the opinion people in this camp will have of him. Why? I don’t want to see some of the people in this camp again. He’d sooner not put himself on the line.
"It’s embarrassing. He’s the policeman here that ran for mayor and this is embarrassing that a 26-year-old boy had to stand up and speak for him. There’s no backbone there."
We're inclined to agree with Joe - it's time Brian grew a pair.
That's Life, Esther
Esther Ranzen was envious of a clean-looking Ant and Dec when she was booted out, and longed for a clean up.
She cemented her role in the camp as the peace maker but said: "I found my emotions very raw."
However, she did love every moment on the show and spoke fondly of her friendship with Joe and talked about what his qualities: "He brings exhubarance, incredible tactle - very lovable. When he really thinks something is wrong he really goes for it.
Yup, he certainly does.
Carly Smiles at Last
She moaned for England but she found happiness at last. Carly's gone but not forgotten as she'll be sadly missed by her pal Nicola.
The Wags turned out to be firm friends and not foes like some predicted.
Carls may have been sweet, but we found her a bit dull. Clearly out of her depth, she missed home, she missed Joe, infact she was
pretty unhappy. Best off out we reckon.
Find out what happened on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! last week.
Find out when I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! is showing on TV.
